What is Divalicous anyway?
Well it's a made up word so it really can be anything you want it to be. Its a word blend like Bennifer or Bromance. A blend of Diva and Delicious so I guess it could mean delicious diva...which is just weird.
For me though its definition is to be the best version of me I can be. Does that mean me running around in a bikini? No, that would be the best 'fit' version of me. I'm talking about the best version of me. Me. The whole me. Outside. Inside. Career. Dreams. Goals. Me. Who I was meant to be. An authentic fabulous version of me.
Life has a way of changing you. Not always for the better...although if you choose....it can certainly have that affect. I'm a go with the flow kind of girl. If there's a problem I'll be affected by it for a bit and then I work through it. That's just who I am. I haven't always been that way but I am that way now. And yet still. Life changed me...again.
A couple of years ago I was on a mission. I knew who I was and what I was going to do. Everything seemed good. In place. I had finally figured it out. Thank God!
And them BAM. Life. Now, I have been through a lot in my lifetime and have pulled myself out of a few situations. It hasn't always been easy, as a matter of fact at times its been damn hard to do. But I have. I never thought life again would steal my spark....and then it did.
Life's traumas are like a thief. A thief that robs you of routine, your smile, your spark. It robs you of you.
I thought I was coping. I mean I continued on with my life. I wrote my shows. Sang at my gigs. Performed in my plays. Went about my business. And then, I noticed it. Something was missing. That old familiar something. Me. My smile. My spark. There, but not. Diminished. My country song life had done it again. Damn.
It shows up in little ways. My junk drawer turned into drawers. My bedroom was always in disarray. What used to give me joy didn't. I kept trying to manufacture it - but it wasn't happening. I was empty. The only pure joy I seemed to feel was when I spent time with my grandchildren. They were innocent. Pure. Incapable of hurting me. In them I found happiness. Everywhere else? Not so much. Not even when I performed, and that had never happened before. I stopped taking care of myself. I stopped laughing. I wasn't me anymore. A was a shell. A facsimile.
The thing about life's traumas and grief is you can't rush things. You have to just go through them. Feel the emotions. Own the pain. The trick is to not stay there. 2016 was my year to feel the pain. 2017 is my year to find my Divalicious! My mojo. Me.
I'm excited. You see if I were to write who I was meant to be it would be simple. I can list it in a few words. Creativity. Performing. Laughter. Family. Cooking. Entertaining. Travel. Organized. That's me at my Divalicious best.
This year my goal is to feed each of those aspects of my life. I'm eating healthier. Focused on my goals. Ridding my life of the chaos. Writing. Singing. Acting. Painting. Playing Music. Putting on my make-up even when I'm home. Saying yes to adventure. Trying to focus on the moment (not easy to do). I can't overhaul everything at once. That's a recipe for disaster. So one day at a time. One change at a time. But my attitude? My inner Divalicious is shining through baby! She is ready to come out.
So I am officially on my journey to my Divalicious self. I don't know where it will take me, but I am excited. I'm excited for the future for the first time in a while. I'm sure life will throw some curve balls - it always does - but I'm on to you life. I am. And I plan on sticking to my journey anyway.
Cayla